You're in my heart, You're in my soul You are my heaven, You're my home You're my best friend, You're my true love You are my treasure, You're my God

Until recently, my heart was burdened by an idol, the biggest idol I have encountered so far in my life. That idol may be familiar to you, although not so dear or so close or so big as it was to me.
The idol is being a help-meet (don't worry, this isn't a mourning post of a single, I'm only eighteen!). I can't remember a time when the desire of my heart was not to be a mother. As I grew older, that desire matured into the longing for a husband.
And it wasn't a bad thing to want for. Not a bad thing at all.
But little did I realize that I belonged to someone else. Not a husband, but a God. It never occurred to me that while I was busy thinking, planning, wishing, praying, dreaming about my future husband, someone was being neglected. And that someone is madly in love with me.
It never occurred to me to think of God as a lover, well, I had thought of Him as a God who loves, who has a warm regard for others: as a lover of mankind. But I'm still learning to see His love for me as that of a father, a brother, even a husband. Francis Chan uses the example of Hosea and Gomer to show God's husband-like love for His children.
In 1st Corinthians 7:34, Paul warns us about the challenge of keeping God as our focus when we are married,

"And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband."

Isaiah 54 speaks of Israel as a desolate woman and God as her loving husband,

"For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called."

As I was reading my blog-roll today, I encountered this post on The Scriptorium Daily.
I felt something strange inside me when I thought about being alone. I didn't feel lonely at all. When he was going to be crucified, Jesus told his disciples, in John 16

"Behold, the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and will leave me alone. Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me."

That's sort of how I feel--I'll never be alone because He is with me.
It was then that, to my joy, I realized God is slowly taking away the idol that so long burdened my heart. Not entirely, but making it smaller in light of the idol I hold in Him--an idol that grows bigger every day. I still have the desires in my heart, but they are not who I am, are not everything I want to be anymore. I'm surprised to realize this. I really am. And I'm so glad. I'm excited to see the things He will lead me to. And I'm so glad He's my very best friend.
I know Nuns commit themselves as married to God and that is NOT what I am saying I believe. I'm not saying that I don't want a husband, I'm just trying to share that I don't feel like I need a husband. Jesus is all I need. I need no husband, no children, nothing of this world. I need Jesus above all the desires of my sinful heart. He is my everything.
He's Mr. Right. Yeah, He's the one.